Things of New

Here’s the journey God has taken me on for the last few months…and for some reason I don’t think He’s finished yet. ;)

It started as I began praying for an upcoming spring break mission trip to Mexico.

3/2/08 I felt God lead me to pray for new things. I didn’t know if that meant new things for the people in Mexico, new things for the team or new things for me…I guess it turned out to be all of the above. So my prayer was just that God would do new things. Isaiah 43:18: “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

3/16 The very day that we arrived in Mexico, the leader of our group tells us that our plans have changed. We won’t be going to the original village that we had planned to work in but instead we’ll be doing a new thing, something that had never been done before. So we helped with a VBS in Santa Maria, a new place they had not worked in before.

3/17 The next morning, we were just sitting around when I noticed some of the girls had created collage-like coverings for their journals. I was looking at them all, and couldn’t believe it when one of them had “all things new” written repeatedly on her journal. She proceeded to tell me that that was the theme God had given her for the year- all things new! Yeah, I was like WOW too!

3/18 It wasn’t only the words new things but also some very new things occurred. In the village of Santa Maria, five people became believers as a result of the work done there. And one night God did a new work in some of our own hearts, drawing us closer to Him and providing new friends for this journey of sanctification. One of my closest friends was even called into the ministry (which was a very different and new direction for him as a career choice).

3/19 As I shared my story of new things with the group, God continued to confirm to me that that was what He was about for this trip. The trip itself had definitely been a new thing in lots of other different ways as well…

3/23 I walked away from that mission trip, thinking- Wow! God has done some awesome and new things. That was cool. But new things had only begun…When I shared the story of my trip with my best friend she gave me some wonderful words of wisdom: Not only does God want to do new things around me--He wants to make me new! Take this to heart, even if you read no further. That is what God is all about - making us anew and anew, until we become just like Him! He doesn’t want to simply show up and do awesome things in our life-He longs to show up and change us until we are brand new!

3/30 In Sunday School the following week we took some time to share about our spring break trips. So I told a short version of the story of new things you just read.
Apparently God had been speaking the same things to some other folks. Kirsten Callahan says, “it’s cool you said that because as I was just praying before SS God prompted me to pray for new things…that He would do new things in this college ministry”. Tim Johnson also shared that God had been showing him a lot about new seasons/things, “the winter has pasted and the springtime has come”.
After SS Carlie shares a verse with me, that has kinda become a promise for me - Isaiah 48:6: “You have heard; now see all this; and will you not declare it? From this time forth I announce to you new things, hidden things that you have not known.”

4/2 The next Wednesday evening I was walking with my mom to take my little sister to choir. The children’s ministry had just put up and new bulletin board that said “He makes all things new!” whoa!

4/10 In a meeting with my boss at school and she tells the group of us that she believes God has us on the verge of something very new and different in our lives. She shared several verses with us, and this is an all time favorite, Isaiah 30:21: “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or to the left.”

4/13 Pastor Jett preached on “New Wine for New Wineskins”, talking about living under the Spirit’s power and not our own flesh.

4/20 During the prayer time, Pastor Jett said something along the lines of how God desires to do new and fresh things in our lives. How we are to be consumed by Jesus…

4/25 In a discussion with a friend, I learned that #8 is the number of new beginnings in Hebrew. 2008 is the year of new beginnings.

5/7 I had been reading through Beth Moore’s bible study on David for a few months and on this particular day she was discussing a passage where the people were being punished for their rebellion (2 Samuel 21:1-9). Beth goes on to say, “Rebellion inevitably leads to famine in our relationship with God. A new beginning is as close as the fresh smell of rain.”
Later that night in church a friend that I had shared all this with comes to me. “God is teaching me new things too!” After we talked for a minute she shares Joshua 3:5 with me. Later when I read the passage, verse 4 stuck out to me as well. Joshua 3:4-5: “Yet there shall be a distance between you and it, about 2,000 cubits in length. Do not come near it, in order that you may know the way shall go, for you have not passed this way before.” Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.”

5/8 When I shared this whole story with two co-workers it was amazing to hear that God was doing new things in their lives as well. Gigi told me about getting a new job, that she wanted to make sure that it was the Lord’s will. God showed her that had been 7 months since she stopped her last job and that it would be exactly 8 months that she would begin her new job (7 is the number of completion and 8 is the number of new beginnings). It was incredible to see how God was teaching us the same truths and we would have never known had we not begun sharing what God was doing in us (Is. 48:6). Don’t miss out on being encouraged by not talking about the things of God with other believers!

5/13 The great thing about working in a Christian environment is how easy it is to hear from God. Before work at C’paws we generally have a staff prayer. Today Brett was praying, lifting up the prayer requests and the restaurant and then he prayed that God would give us all new attitudes. I just smiled. It was a small reference but God used it to remind me of all He had done and wanted to continue doing.

5/15? Text from Carlie (All things new theme for year), Jeremiah 33:3: “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Not only did I want God to do new things but I want to search out and find the hidden things of God.

5/18 After discussing new ministry opportunities and teams for the college group, Kristy asked me to help lead a college girls Bible study. We began praying about which book or study to use, wanting to do something that was specific to becoming a woman of God, and we were truly desiring God to completely confirm which we were to do. I went to the Christian bookstore, sat down with a stack of 6 plus books and began reading the back covers. I got excited when I read “Having a Mary Spirit” because, not only was it applicable and what we were looking for, but here’s a snippet of what the back says, “{This book} directs your gaze past your own shortcomings to the God who stands ready, willing, and able to make a new woman out of you.” It goes on to talk about inviting Christ into the hidden places of your heart… Then God confirmed it in Kristy too! I’m really excited about this study, place pray that God will make all of us new and more like Him this summer!

5/27 Ezekial 36:26: “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”

6/8 In college Sunday School, Kevin was sharing about the things God had been teaching him on the Senior Road Trip. His entire “lesson” was amazing but then he shared Joshua 3:4-5 in reference to the college ministry. I’m SO excited about the new things that God in going to do specifically through that ministry!

So here I am today, enthused and ecstatic, not only because God has done great things but because God is doing new things!! And we’ve still got half of 2008 left! =)

waiting and waiting some more...

Rationalizing Religion

God is so amazing! Here's just a nugget of something He's got me "chewing on":

On my last mission trip to Mexico the discussion came up about the difference between a person's soul and spirit but none of us were really qualified or studied enough to give a proper response. Last Sunday, Pastor Jett preached about this very thing.

A person's BODY is their connection to the physical world, one's SOUL is their connection to the mental & emotional world and their SPIRIT is the connection to the spiritual world.

He mentioned this in his sermon on fasting and "these kind". The point he was making was that fasting is hardly at all about food, but rather the act of denying our flesh (body and soul) and surrendering it to the control and lordship of Jesus Christ. Pretty cool, huh?

Well in the past two days, I did something that I had justified in my MIND and felt (emotions) just fine about doing. In my head there was absolutely no reason to avoid this action and I even felt perfectly dainty when this happened. Oh but afterwards... I can't remember the last time I felt the Lord's conviction so strong in my life! Unmistakably the conviction of the Holy Spirit! And no matter how much I justified it in my head (I have no problem with this in my MIND), I could not escape the miserable feeling of a believer caught in sin. Upon confession, God confirmed once again in me that it doesn't matter if my study of the Scripture has led me to believe that what I've done isn't technically a sin - when the Holy Spirit of God convicts me about something, my ONLY act of worship is obediance. Obediance, regardless of what I think, no matter how "religious" or "studied" or how strong of a believer I am. Obediance, regardless of how I feel about the issue. If God's Spirit living inside of me is uncomfortable with anything in my life - it's gotta go. And the big thing for me is: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE TO ME! This is all a part of giving over control of my own body and soul to the Spirit of Christ Jesus living in me!

Another example occurred Sunday night. My entire Christian walk I've struggled with issue of healing. I believe that God can heal people but for some reason I've never been fully convinced that He wants to. I was having this conversation Friday night with a friend and he explained to me that God brings suffering into our lives for a season, but not for us to dwell in. Any time the issue is brought up I just tend to shy away, or throw my hands up in frustration and forget about it. But Sunday night, Pastor Jett was talking about spiritual warfare and how the spirit of disbelief can be one of the most destructive. Once again, I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me that I needed to ask God to remove any seed of disbelief in me...and I did.

That brings me to now: Do I know that God is going to heal everyone I pray for? Not neccesarily but I just want to be obediant to do whatever He calls me to.

So that's my charge to you - obey the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life, even when makes no sense at all!

Masquerading as your best friend...

"I want to let you in on a secret. I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me. I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. Sometimes I want to rip off this facade like I did at the spring formal, but I can't because you'll get scared and you'll run away again. So I decided it's better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings." Chloe Sullivan to Clark Kent (Smallville, season 2)

In love with

My Bucket List (in progress)

Things I wish to do before I 'hit the bucket', in a completely random order:

Visit Washington, D. C. and Williamsburg

Witness a miracle

Become a published author

Meet Jason Wade from Lifehouse

Get my National Board Certification

Ride the world's largest roller coaster

Make out in a movie theater

Buy a 1965 Ford mustang convertible and give it to my dad, after I drive it of course

Help a complete stranger without anyone else knowing about it

Watch my siblings all grow up and get married (scary thought!)

Stay overseas for more than a week

Visit Israel

Buy my mother a new house and a maid

Say something worth quoting

Meet Tom Welling

See the Declaration of Independenc and the Constitution

Go on a cruise

Change the course of someone's life for the better

Try snowsking

Grow old with my soul mate

Make a "history book" difference

...TO BE CONTINUED...

Sudden Realizations

• My dad is officially old (yes, this is new for him). I'm not sure when it happened but I've noticed that since he broke his ankle he's not so full of life as used to be. Don't get me wrong, he's still totally the coolest dad ever. He will still seize any and every opportunity to scare you that arises and he's just about the biggest computer gaming nerd ever. But the other night I was going 10 mph over the speed limit and he told me to slow down. I suppose this is characteristic of most fourty year old men, but NOT MY DAD. My dad is the one that taught me how to really drive. Mom taught me all the safe driving, need-to-know things, but it was that Dad taught me how to drive. If you don't understand the difference, stop reading because we aren't friends. He used to applaud my swift manuevering and speeding, but now he says 'slow down'. He used to have crazy ideas of owning motorcycles, skydiving, cliff-hanging, street racing or whatever but now he's decided to slow life down, and not be so adventurous/stupid. My grandmother has been waiting for this moment for fourty years but I don't really like it. My dad is old =(
  
• This time next year I will be a bonafied teacher. A lot of emotions that come with that statement. Today we received our Professional Block placement (where I'm gonna teach a 30 min lesson everyday for the entire month of April). I kinda got this sick feeling in my stomach. This is for real. And I'm just not sure. I don't think it's really the teaching thing...I feel pretty confident in that. I guess the whole thing just reminds me that I don't really know what the future holds, but I'm a big kid now. I have to find a place to live, pay the bills, teach 30 kids for 40 hours a week...All my life I wanted to be a "grown-up" (because grown-ups get to do whatever they want, of course) and now that adulthood is staring me in the face I don't like it. So I'm reverting back to childhood, from now on I'm perminant five years old.
  
• I'm the only single student in my entire class. Which is weird. I'm content with that, for now (I would like to emphasis for now haha). I'm excited about being with the person that God has for me but I realize that it's gonna be the best when it happens in His timing and not mine. And honestly, right this second, its not really the 'not having someone' that bothers me...it's more of the 'not knowing'. I don't envy my classmates because they have significant others, but just because they have a plan. They know that when they graduate they're gonna teach at X and live at X. But for me, I can do whatever, I've got no one else to consider. I never knew that options could be so overwhelming.
  
• I'm also the youngest student in my entire class. This encourages me when I don't do as well as I would have liked on a test. I think I'll toot my own horn for a minute. I've done quite well in college, considering: I'm one of the few in my family to graduate high school, I was homeschooled, I'll be the first in ANY of my family to graduate college. I think I've done pretty good for myself. =)
  
• I've kinda fallen in love with English again. Between Language Arts for Children, Middle Grades Literacy and C. S. Lewis (which all take place on Tuesdays, thus my favorite school day this semester) I've found that English really is my subject. I had forgotten how much I love words. I guess all the textbook reading that comes with college hasn't helped me there. I wish I read more than I do, but I still really do like to write. And I think I'm better at it that I realized (my fingers are crossed on that one until I get Randle's paper back).
  
• I still hate math! HATE it! But I get to pretend for the rest of my career that I love it, kinda like a few other things in life. I guess pretention is just a way of life.
  
• I was an idiot for taking all these classes this semester. Ok, so five of my classess I didn't have a choice, but the Lewis class...I don't know. This semester has been so much work! I haven't slept for more than 6 hours a night in the past two weeks (I went to bed at like 9 last night to make up for it, but the dang fire alarms went off!!!!). And I'm barely able to keep my sanity. And that's just school...not to mention anything about 'real life'. On the brighter side, I have thoroughly enjoyed the Lewis class. I'm really glad I am taking it. It's a breath of fresh air after taking about Piaget and Bloom and DOK and Garner's Mulitiple Intelligences and kids all the time.
  
• I'm still no closer to a decision about graduate school than I was when I started undergrad.
  
• All my friends are either married (or engaged), a few years younger than me or named Beth, Matt or Ryan.
  
• I don't really have the money to go to Mexico for spring break...but I think I'm gonna go anyway.

Life = JESUS!

So there are times when I'm straightup just frustrated with life. It could be caused by any number of things...take your pick. But when I take a minute to stop and look around, I quickly realized that all my 'troubles' don't even matter! All of life comes down to just one thing-to know YOU Jesus and to make YOU known!! If I could just NEVER forget that! If I could remember that that is LIFE! JESUS! Instead of being so caught up in my petty American life...be completely satisified with all that He is!! Lord, I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but I have so much to learn. Teach me.

'I Will Wait' by Jason Upton
I will wait for You, Jesus
You are the Son in my horizon
All my hope's in You, Jesus
I can see you now arising!

There's a wall that stands in front of me
That I know I just can't climb
But like an eagle You will carry me
It's just a matter of Your time!

I will wait for you Jesus
You're the Son in my horizon
All my hope's in You, Jesus
I can see You now arising!

An evil army's all around me
Another wall that's in my way
But I believe the word You promised me
So I will wait another day.

I will wait for You, Jesus
You're the Son in my horizon
All my hope's in You, Jesus
I can see You now arising!

Father, teach me to wait for YOU! Teach me to continually seek Your face, not solely Your hand...

Consistent and Faithful

So, even as I type in this site name, I say to myself, "What are you doing?" knowing good and well that I absolutely do not have time to be blogging. I guess the romantic deep inside me is what causes me to persist.

Have you ever been completely overwhelmed? Perhaps by a gift or a compliment- you know the ones you totally weren't expecting from the people you would have last expected to give it. That's how I felt last night. COMPLETELY overwhelmed by the undeserving love that God has given me. And not only given me but delighted to give me despite all my failures and inconsistencies. HE, the perfect and timeless Being, LOVES ME!! And His love, quite frankly, took me by surprise last night. Too often I expect God to operate as another human and knowing that I have failed Him, I expected Him to be fed up with me and to leave me to my self-pity. Yet He chooses to wash over me with His blood. Which brings me back to the fact that not only does He love me, but He delights in displaying His love to me!

Father, You are beautiful beyond description! I love You!!

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
And our tongue with singing.
Then they said among the nations,
'The LORD has done great things for them.'
The LORD has done great things for us,
And we are glad.
...Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him."
Psalm 126: 2-3, 5-6

If we could talk